How do I bond with my therapist?

It takes effort and courage to do the emotional work of therapy, and therapists respect and connect with clients who do.

1. Understand the nature of the therapeutic relationship.
2. Communicate openly and be honest.
3. Make your goals clear to your therapist and work together to track them.
4. Do your homework.

Is it normal to want to be friends with your therapist?

While not common, a friendship can develop when you’ve finished therapy. However, ethical guidelines frown on this for various reasons, including the idea that the transference aspects of the relationship and the power imbalance formed in therapy never fully disappear.

How should therapists respond to attachment issues?

Therapists should be aware of their own attachment tendencies and how their behaviors might impact others so that they can be more intentional about responding to clients in a way that is healing and moves the therapeutic work forward.

How does attachment style affect the clinical relationship?

The clinical relationship stirs up anxieties and behavior patterns associated with the client’s attachment style because therapy involves vulnerability, caretaking, and intimacy (Bowlby, 1988 as cited by Mohr et al., 2005).

Why do I have an insecure attachment style?

More often than not, clients who come to therapy will have an insecure attachment style because they are often looking to improve their interpersonal relationships and/or suffer from symptoms that stem from issues in early relationships. In life, others will often respond in ways that perpetuate their internal model of relationships.

Do you feel closeted with your therapist?

Patients feel very sensitive and often terribly ashamed about experiencing a strong yearning for some form of closeness with their therapist. Is that you? I didn’t realize how important this topic was until I wrote the first of a series of posts on the topic at How Therapy Works.